


Different

by comfycozysweaters



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Character Death, Gen, M/M, Mourning, Post Season 7 Spoilers, past death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-13
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-07-11 17:22:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15976940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/comfycozysweaters/pseuds/comfycozysweaters
Summary: It was silly. He knew it was silly. Shiro was alive and well and thriving in this new environment. He was every bit a friend as he was a leader and mentor. There was no reason to look at him and mourn.No reason at all.





	Different

**Author's Note:**

> A drabbled based on rijinks’s comic on tumblr! Go give them some love.
> 
> http://rijinks.tumblr.com/post/176153474713/

If Lance closed his eyes and just listened, it was as if nothing had changed. Allura’s voice, tired but commanding, crackling over the comms with instructions or inspiration. Keith’s dry sarcasm quick to respond but also quick to act. Hunk remaining the voice of reason in the chaos. Pidge’s frustrated or triumphant calls interspersed with cutting wit. Shiro and Coran, clear and concise informing the paladins of changes as they provided backup in another skirmish with a Galra fleet. 

 

It was a small one, straggling at the edge of the star system attacking a space station that held no real value to the Galra. The battle was over as soon as it began and Shiro congratulated them on a job well done. The Galaxy Garrison would be happy to know their system remained safe. 

 

With his eyes closed, it was like Shiro was talking to him and just to him.

 

He smiles at the thought. Wishes the moment would suspend itself for just a little longer.

 

“Red, you’re comms are dark. Report in.”

 

Just a little longer.

 

“Red. Lance! Report in!”

 

He cringes at the crackle the urgent call caused and opened his eyes to the sight of the other lions already headed to the Garrison. Black was hovering just behind the others, head turned and ready to extract Lance in case something had happened. Best not give them the chance. “Lance here. No need to worry your pretty little head, Shiro, I was just taking a moment to ponder the stars.”

 

“Ponder on the ground, Mcclain.” Keith’s voice was filled with derision, making Lance almost feel guilty for pausing for so long. 

 

Almost.

 

“What, you worried about me drifting off, Mullet? That’s so sweet.” He winks as he passes, doing the giant metal lion version of a playful shoulder check. Keith just scoffs good naturedly and follows.

 

When they dock, he doesn’t leave Red. Instead he sits in her cockpit with his legs up against his chest and an arm slung over the back of the pilot’s chair. Diagnostics run on the screen updating him to the most recent conditions and and damages that need repairing but he doesn’t register the information. He doesn't really need to since they’d just be sent to Pidge and Hunk anyways but he needs the excuse right now.

 

Things were fine when the paladins were floating in space, ready to die without their lions and dwindling oxygen, arriving at Earth to a fight for  their home where no one expected to come out unscathed, and the weeks of resting in the hospital with family and friends reacquainting themselves with their lost cadets. It had been nonstop since the moment the Castle exploded sending them careening three years into the future and Lance liked it that way.

 

Sure he appreciated the break after their final showdown but it had been full of family. Full of people. 

 

It wasn’t until after, when it was just him and the silence that used to seem so empty in space but was now oppressive and heavy, that he had time for the last few months to sink in. It seemed unreal to be back on Earth. Seemed so fucking weird to see Allura and Coran and other alien friends making Earth their new home. Even Shiro’s new Garrison uniform was new and strange in all of it’s white glory (Lance liked to joke that Shiro was now the White Paladin. Shiro warmed to the nickname surprisingly fast). 

 

Shiro.

 

Lance looked through the diagnostics to the bay and saw Shiro conversing with the other Paladins, most likely getting mission reports from them and telling them how great a job they had done. He glanced up at Red, worry in the furrow of his brow. Lance would feel guilty if the very sight of the man didn’t make his stomach churn and his chin wobble. 

 

It was silly. He knew it was silly. Shiro was alive and well and  _ thriving _ in this new environment. He was every bit a friend as he was a leader and mentor. There was no reason to look at him and mourn.

 

No reason at all.

 

Except… even with the clone’s memories, Shiro couldn’t replicate the emotions that brought Lance to his knees. Couldn’t inflect the same intonation that raised goosebumps down his arms and melted his heart. He couldn’t look at Lance with the softness that plagued his dreams and sent him scrambling to stay on his feet. 

 

Shiro remembered their performances. He remembered their battles and their rehearsals. He remembered taking Lance in his arms, dipping him as the Blue paladin sat in for Allura, and brushing his lips just barely against Lance’s in a spontaneous unscripted move that occupied Lance’s mind every moment afterwards.

 

He remembered, but he didn’t understand. 

 

And it was tearing Lance apart.

 

Red shut the screen off abruptly and Lance didn’t stop himself from slamming a hand down and choking out a strangled ‘ _ why _ ?’ The cockpit was dark and Red didn’t seem to feel like answering. Or maybe she was and that answer was stop distracting yourself and get out so she could shut down to rest. He ignored the hint and shoved his palms against his eyes, pressing to relieve the tension building there.

 

“Please…” His eyes watered and his jaw locked. “Red please…” He shuddered. “Just a little longer…” 

 

“Lance?”

 

Hunk. Checking in on him like a good friend as always. Spitefully Lance threw off his helmet. He couldn’t face them yet. He couldn’t let them know how fucking upset he was. 

 

He reasoned it was like any other mourning period, volatile in the moment but soon to pass. 

 

But normal mourning periods didn’t include the person he was mourning being for all intents and purposes right fucking there every moment of every god damn day. He inhaled.

 

His chest felt tight.

 

His throat worked around a lump that felt ready to choke him.

 

All he wanted was to look at Shiro and see the paladin he’d grown close to. The man that gave him time, gave him understanding, gave him a chance. They had bonded so much during the clone’s time.

 

To him it had been real.

 

To him it was still real.

 

Inhale.

 

A shaky exhale. 

 

Again.

 

This was stupid. Shiro was alive, more alive than the clone had been. 

 

Inhale.

 

Exhale.

 

Lance swallowed. Stood and grabbed his helmet. Slaps on a smile. “Hey, good buddy. Sorry about that. Just running a few scans. Coming out now.”


End file.
